When the Lord saw her, he was moved with pity for her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Luke 7:13
Gracie was getting antsy in the pew and started to cry…
We were in church and the mass hasn’t even started yet. I stood up and carried Gracie to the cry room so we didn’t disturb the other churchgoers (and also to prevent myself from embarrassment and getting any crusty looks).
Initially, Gracie did well. She just walked around in the cry room, ate some puffs and drank milk.
But then later on, she started crying again. She was pulling on the door knob and when she realized she couldn’t open it, she got frustrated and became inconsolable. Fortunately, my husband came and Gracie eventually calmed down. (Plus we had a Daniel Tiger video playing silently on the iPhone. Thank you Daniel Tiger.)
I felt really flustered that morning before going to work.
But as the steam in my head went away, I was able to put things in perspective …
I am grateful to God … as I remember you constantly in my prayers, night and day. 2 Timothy 1:3
I had an invisible cross when I had my pregnancy with Gracie.
It started with a phone call from my doctor. I was at work one afternoon and my round of first trimester screening was completed. He called me with the results and said the screening was suggestive of Trisomy 18.
I was frozen for a few seconds as I let the news sink it…
It meant there was a chance my baby had congenital deformities and there was a possibility she wouldn’t even last beyond 1 year of age.
As I sat in my chair and put the phone down, I struggled to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. And then the dam broke loose as I got home. I hugged my husband and started crying.
Our doctor asked us if I would like to do amniocentesis to confirm the diagnosis. My husband and I refused. Because it wouldn’t affect the next step. We would still keep our baby.
For the next few months, my heart was heavy every time I remembered it. And when people asked me if I was excited about my pregnancy, I put on a mask and said “yes.”
So we carefully chose her name. We named her “Grace” because it meant a free and unmerited favor from God. I prayed for a miracle that the screening was false positive and she would turn out to be normal. Then we gave her the second name “Calynn” which meant strong in battle. Knowing if she did have any congenital defects, she would be strong enough to overcome them.
He will wipe away all tears from their eyes; there will be no more death, and no more mourning or sadness or pain… Revelations 21:4
We all have silent tears and invisible crosses every now and then.
You may have had this in the past. Or maybe you’re currently carrying one right now. Or maybe it’s the constant struggle of everyday living.
At some point, we break down and cry. And I imagine God lovingly bringing us to the “Cry Room” and trying to comfort and console us.
Just like in the poem “Footprints in the sand”. In this poem, a man had a dream he was walking along the beach with the Lord. There were two sets of footprints …
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I didn’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints…it was then that I carried you.
God is telling us, “I love you. Do not weep. For I am with you. You are a good mom.”
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
The day came when Gracie was born … and she was completely normal!
I cried. But this time it wasn’t tears of sorrow.
It was tears of gratitude. Because God answered my prayers.
Gracie is now 15 months old and progressing nicely in her development milestones.
So whenever there were any days when Grace gets antsy, I pause and put things in perspective. Then I am grateful. Because she is alive. Because she is healthy. Because she is a reminder that our God is a God of miracles. Because she is a blessing. Because she makes us happy.
In today’s reading, the son was dead. I could just imagine the deep sorrow his mother felt.
But Jesus came and raised the son from the dead.
For men it is impossible, but not for God. All things are possible for God. Mark 10:27
May you receive God’s love and reassurance today.